here is us
Get started ↗
Menu

☾ A LITTLE MOMENT FOR TWO · ALWAYS FREE

Red Flag or Green Flag? Questions for Couples

Compare how everyday behaviors feel to each of you. A choice opens a conversation about boundaries; it does not label a person.

Choose privately, pass the device, then reveal both answers.

How to play
  1. Choose the option that feels most like you.
  2. Pass the device so your partner can choose without seeing your answer.
  3. Reveal both choices and talk about why you picked them. Different is interesting, too.
Choose, pass, compare1 / 54 viewed

Your choice, just for now

Your partner asks before sharing a photo of you in a group chat.

Free to play. No account needed. Choices stay in this tab and clear on reload.

KEEP A FAVORITE FOR ANOTHER EVENING

All 54 questions

Browse at your own pace, or explore the cards above. Pick what fits the two of you today.

Questions 1–20
  1. Your partner asks before sharing a photo of you in a group chat. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  2. They text back within seconds, every single time — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  3. Your partner answers a question addressed to you before you can speak. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  4. They plan surprise dates without asking — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  5. Your partner says they need an hour alone and agrees when to reconnect. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  6. They remember every little thing you've ever said — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  7. Your partner treats your hobbies as time you owe back to the relationship. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  8. They have a close friend of the opposite gender — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  9. Your partner checks whether you want advice before offering it. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  10. They cry during emotional movies — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  11. Your partner posts a joke about your disagreement while you are still upset. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  12. They surprise you with flowers on a random Tuesday — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  13. Your partner asks how to pronounce a name that matters to your family. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  14. They talk about their ex's good qualities — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  15. Your partner changes a shared booking without asking you first. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  16. They're still close friends with all their exes — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  17. Your partner remembers a limit you mentioned once and respects it. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  18. They've never had a long relationship — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  19. Your partner calls every disagreement proof that you are incompatible. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  20. They talk to their mother every single day — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

Questions 21–40
  1. Your partner can enjoy an evening with you without documenting it. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  2. They remember small things you mentioned once — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  3. Your partner expects immediate answers while you are working. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  4. They've moved city for a partner before — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  5. Your partner admits that a family tradition does not work for both of you. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  6. They plan dates without being asked — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  7. Your partner asks a friend to persuade you after you have declined a plan. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  8. They tell you when you're being unfair — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  9. Your partner checks how you want to be introduced to new people. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  10. They've never lived alone — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  11. Your partner borrows something sentimental and returns it carelessly. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  12. They get on well with your friends immediately — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  13. Your partner celebrates an achievement that has no benefit for them. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  14. They want to move in after two months — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  15. Your partner brings up an old mistake whenever you raise a new concern. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  16. They joke about your insecurities in front of others — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  17. Your partner makes room for a plan you are excited about but they would not choose. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  18. They've been in therapy and talk about it openly — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  19. Your partner uses your private worry as a punchline in company. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  20. They never apologise first — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

Questions 41–54
  1. Your partner accepts a no without asking you to justify it repeatedly. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  2. They tell you about problems as they happen — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  3. Your partner promises help before checking whether they have the time. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  4. They're comfortable with silence around you — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  5. Your partner tells you when a practical arrangement is no longer working. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  6. They're friends with everyone they've ever worked with — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  7. Your partner insists every invitation must include both of you. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  8. They change plans at the last minute, often — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  9. Your partner asks what repair would help after letting you down. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  10. They've never introduced you to their family — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  11. Your partner calls your need for privacy suspicious. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  12. They give you space without taking it personally — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

  13. Your partner notices you are quiet and offers space to talk later. — Green flag for me or Red flag for me or I need more context

  14. They ask how they can do better — 🟢 Green Flag or 🚩 Red Flag

A little permission to take it slowly.

Choose one question when you have time to listen. There is no need to get through the whole collection.

These are informal conversation prompts. They do not diagnose an attachment style, assess your mental health or measure whether a relationship will succeed.